When retirement arrives early

Updated: 18 Jun 2024

Retirement is something many people spend years, even decades, planning for. But what happens if the time to retire arrives sooner than expected?

This was Ann Whitehead’s experience. When her mother died unexpectedly in 2012, she struggled to cope. Her decision to retire from her busy career as a Beauty Therapist, she said, was made for her.

Ann and her husband Keith

Ann, 69, from Mobberley, Cheshire, described how she felt at the time.

"I couldn’t work. I couldn’t do anything,” she said. “People said I was the last person they thought that would happen to because I was so happy and had lots of energy. I felt forced into retirement.”

12-years on, Ann is in a much stronger and happier place, surrounded by the support of her family – husband Keith, known as ‘Skip’, two children and two grandchildren.

Missing connections

It came as no surprise how, with the sudden disappearance of her highly-sociable career, Ann, a self-proclaimed outgoing person, longed for things to do and people to do them with.

She started to look for ways she could rebuild her social life, despite being anxious at the thought of it.

“I was nervous at first,” Ann admitted, “but getting out and meeting people helped me cope with what I was going through.”

In late 2021, Ann was on Facebook and noticed a post from her local Handforth and Altrincham Oddfellows friendship group, which hosts regular meetups throughout Cheshire. She decided to give it a go, a decision she’s pleased she made.

“There were so many people to meet at them,” she said. “I’d go to one event in one area and then another elsewhere and I wouldn’t see the same people every time. It’s great to get to know so many people and find out about them and their lives.

“Everyone is so welcoming, it was like therapy. And Sharon, the Branch Secretary, is amazing. She makes sure everyone feels welcome.”

Chances to get out and about

Ann, who soon became a member of Handforth and Altrincham Oddfellows, added: “If I was at home I’d just be working – housework or in the garden. This home could keep me busy all day every day. That’s why I joined the Oddfellows, to get out the house. It’s nice to get out and meet different people.

“I was chatting to a man the other day who was showing me all his photos from a recent trip to London. It’s so enlightening learning about other peoples’ lives. It’s nice to know that retirement wasn’t the end of the world.”

Ann, half-jokingly, says it was nice to do something for herself away from her husband.

“I joined to get out of the house, get away from my husband,” she said as her husband ‘Skip’ laughed in the background. “But now he comes along too! He likes to go to the meals.”

She continued: “It’s just full of very friendly people. Someone I was sat with recently gave me a hug when I left.”

Company on your terms

In retirement, Ann believes it’s “very important” to get out, meet new people and try new things.

“Covid didn’t help,” she explained. “A lot of people lost confidence during the pandemic but now we’re through the other side it’s very important to socialise.

“There’s lots of things to do at the Oddfellows and it’s good that you can go when you want. There’s no pressure.

“I went to the Garrick Theatre in Altrincham recently. I wouldn’t do that on my own.

“There are lots of events where you can sit and have a coffee and chat to people. I probably go to an Oddfellows event about once a week.”

She added: “Retirement has given me the time to do things I’ve always wanted to do. I’ve done a cake decorating course. I did a baking course at Manchester University, card making, sewing – which was ironic because my mum was a Tailoress in the war and would make suits for Burtons, but she wasn’t there to help me with my own sewing after she died.

Lending a hand

Beyond a friendly face to chat to and an interesting event to enjoy, there’s another side to the Oddfellows that particularly struck a chord with Ann, and that’s how caring everyone is.

“A man in his 90s who had recently joined wanted to go to the theatre but understandably was apprehensive about driving in the dark, so I offered to pick him up. That’s what it’s all about. Everybody looks after each other and are so caring,” she explained.

“You find that everybody has their own problems and so you get a chance to offload them, and they offload them on you too.

the perfect place to meet people.

Sharon Cottle, Branch Secretary at Handforth and Altrincham Oddfellows, said: “We are delighted that Ann has joined our group, she's such a cheerful person, we are always happy to see her at events as she brings kindness and friendship to everyone around. She has even introduced her husband to join and she brings along her lovely granddaughter from time to time, and we've loved meeting them and spending time together.

“Ann joined our Committee of Management this year and we welcome her wisdom and advice on how we can make membership better and better for our members here.

“Our wonderful members come from all walks of life and have lots of interesting stories and experiences to share. At our events you always get to chat to nice people and always have a laugh, it's the perfect place to meet people who are in a similar position to you.”

Ann added: “People should get out more and not just sit at home. Oddfellows gives you a reason to get out of the house and do things. It keeps you young.

“It’s good to get out and meet people and challenge yourself. It’s not easy sometimes but I found it helped me a lot. Once you make the first step it’s easier then.”

Oddfellows friendship groups

The Oddfellows can help you keep active and positive in your retirement, and introduce you to other retirees in your area. It has branches across the country and organises regular social events for its members to enjoy such as coffee mornings, talks and quizzes.

The Society also supports members with care and welfare advice, opportunities to holiday together and volunteering.

We're always ready to welcome new members to our local Oddfellows friendship groups.

You can find your nearest by using our Branch Finder, or use our Events Finder to search for social events and activities happening near to where you live or online.

Request your free information pack and local events diary by contacting us.