Make friendship a priority

Updated: 13 Jun 2023

Busy Oddfellow, Vera, is urging older adults to make friendship a priority in their lives and to keep socialising.

Company and kindness

Vera Kirkby, from Bury, was at the receiving end of the Oddfellows’ kindness when it came to the rescue of her carers support group.

Now, she says the friendships she has made since joining the Oddfellows are the best thing that’s ever happened to her and she’s urging others to follow in her footsteps.

Vera looking after her 'Thursday Friends' at the Oddfellows in Bury

Vera, 69, who is a member of the Oddfellows’ South East Lancashire Branch, said: “I love it because it keeps me very active. I joined so that we could keep our carers group going but now I am an active member in my own right.

“It’s so important to have a group of friends you can spend time with regularly, people who can provide you with company, have a good time with and feel supported by. Otherwise you are in danger of becoming very, very lonely. The Oddfellows is fantastic in that it has something for everyone.”

She added: “It’s important that everyone – no matter what their age – places an importance on having fun and socialising, because it will keep you sane! Socialising doesn’t have to be going out for expensive meals or spending money on special outfits, you can go along to an event at the Oddfellows and enjoy an inexpensive coffee or take part in a craft event and have just as good a time.”

Always something in the diary

Vera, whose husband Brian is also a member, added: “The Oddfellows is particularly good because it provides you with a designated time where you meet and socialise, so you can look at your calendar and know that on that day you’re going to have fun and it’s not going to cost the earth.

“Having a routine is great because it gives you a specific time to allocate to something that’s very important for your mental health.”

Vera playing Dominoes with her husband, Brian, and fellow members 

Vera, a grandmother of one, came across the Oddfellows when the carers group she attended began hiring a room at its hall in Bury. Recognising the two groups had a lot in common, the then Branch Chairman suggested they all join the Oddfellows, giving them ongoing use of the space for free as well as providing them with access to members benefits, such as social events, welfare support, a travel club, and a dedicated care helpline and citizens advice team.

Vera said: “I hadn’t heard of the Oddfellows until we found they had space to run our carers group. Then when they suggested we join, we all looked into the other things they offer and it made complete sense – it was the best thing we ever did.

“Our carers club became a ‘Thursday Friends’ where anyone who wants to chat and socialise can come along.”

She added: “It’s really important to have a space where you can share your thoughts, relax and not have to think about anything else – I’d urge anyone who’s looking to meet more people to give it a try. Sometimes I just stop and look around the room to see everyone has a big smile on their face – it’s wonderful.”

Vera outside her local Oddfellows hall in Bury, with husband, Brian, and friends

Joy of friendship

Sheila Kendall, Branch Secretary of South East Lancashire Oddfellows, said: “Vera is a very active and valued member of our Branch.

“As part of Friendship Month we are reminding people about the importance of friendship and Vera is the perfect example of how much joy you can get from being a member.

“You don’t have to join lots of clubs or attend lots of events, you can come along to the Oddfellows and see if anything we do suits you, whether that’s a coffee morning, line dancing session or perhaps the guided walks.

“Friendship is vital for our mental health and wellbeing, but it doesn’t have to be expensive, you could meet in the park with a flask of coffee, take turns cooking a meal or have a video call, so there’s no excuse to stop seeing friends when things are stretched financially.”

Oddfellows friendship groups

Throughout September, the Oddfellows is celebrating Friendship Month and will be hosting hundreds of local taster events and online open days designed to make newcomers feel especially welcome and show them the benefits of joining a friendship group.

You can find your nearest by using our Branch Finder, or use our Events Finder to search for social events and activities happening near to where you live or online.

Contact us to request your free information pack and local events diary.

Read more advice on making friends and building social confidence in our friendship guides section.