Pals or pounds? What would you choose?

Updated: 29 Aug 2025

Our recent survey said half of Brits would choose cash over the thrill of companionship. We say pocket the money with caution, as friendship gives the most valuable return on investment.

The value of friendship

A new survey, to mark Oddfellows Friendship Month this September, shows almost half of Brits would choose cash over the thrill of spending time with friends – despite many admitting they feel lonely.

Brits said they were more likely to choose a mystery present worth £500 (48%) or receive £100 cash (47%), over going on a trip with good friends to somewhere fun (46%) or have a coffee and chat with someone new and interesting (21%).

The research* also revealed how almost half of Brits (48%) admitted they sometimes feel lonely, with 18 to 34-year-olds most likely to report feeling this way (58%), compared to those aged 55+ (38%).

Despite feeling disconnected socially, Brits are more likely to say ‘no’ (56%) when invited to try a new group activity or social experience, with cost (33%) revealed as the biggest barrier holding people back from joining a community or activity group, followed by shyness (30%), and a fear of not fitting in (27%).

For those aged over 55, physical health and mobility were the most common reason for saying ‘no’ (29%), followed by location and not having any suitable events or groups nearby (28%).

The Oddfellows warns that while cash may look tempting, especially in tough financial times, its impact is fleeting and could leave people feeling lonelier. Friendship plays a crucial role in sustaining long-term happiness and wellbeing, said the Oddfellows.

Think twice about taking that mystery gift.

Dr Andy Cope, Happiness Expert and friend of the Oddfellows, explains: “If you ask people what their happiest memories are, they will pick examples where they were surrounded by people. The top 10 happiest moments in someone’s life are experiences not products. It’s about being with people you enjoy being around.

Happiness Expert Dr Andy Cope

“Think twice about taking that mystery gift. Materialism gives a short-lived shot of dopamine but the real ‘richness’ of life lies in human connection. Always choose your friends, or the potential of a new friendship.”

He added: “Social connections don’t just make life more enjoyable – they’re essential for emotional and psychological wellbeing. When we spend time with others, our bodies release oxytocin and endorphins, which boost mood and reduce stress.”

Pals, and Nene and Welland Oddfellows members, (L-R) Peggy O'Flaherty and Jean Logan said 'yes' to giving a new adventure a go to celebrate Friendship Month

Say 'yes' to a thrilling new adventure

Leading by example is widow Jean Logan (pictured), from Bourne in Lincolnshire, who joined her local Oddfellows friendship group to make new friends. 

She and fellow members at the Nene and Welland Oddfellows Branch recently ditched the traditional tea and cakes for an adrenalin adventure of zip lines, axe throwing and an outdoor assault course – proving that saying ‘yes’ to new shared experiences can lead to moments you’ll never forget.

Jean, who is in her 70s and has been an Oddfellows member for three years, said: “It’s a wonderful feeling to be doing something different and challenging. Any kind of socialising is good for you – no matter what your age. It keeps your brain busy, keeps you active and keeps you young.”

She added: “Let’s be honest. £100 doesn’t go very far these days, but I’ll be talking about this activity for a long time to come. You don’t have to climb up a tyre wall or play laser combat, but challenging yourself to say yes to something like coffee with someone new or changing your routine is good.” 

While Jean took on an extreme adventure, the Oddfellows is simply hoping to encourage people to push past any self-doubt and say ‘yes’ to one of their special Friendship Month taster events taking place across the UK this September.

Oddfellows members (L-R) Jean Logan, David Hitchcock and Peggy O'Flaherty swapped cakes and coffee for a thrilling adventure to encourage people to push past any uncertainty or self-doubt

No regrets

Jane Nelson, CEO of the Oddfellows, said: “Our survey confirmed our experience of how older adults can be reluctant to give a new social experience a go.

“Our members always say that they were pleased they found the courage to try one of our activities, and that they’ve never looked back on the friendships they’ve made.

“If you’re nervous about meeting new people or concerned about the cost, we’ve got your back. We’ve hundreds of free, reduced or at cost activities planned such as walks, talks, afternoon teas and quizzes. Don’t worry we’re not going to make you head down a zip line!”

She added: “All we ask is that you take that first step and get in touch. We can take it from there together.

“And if you do ever opt for the cash, maybe consider spending it having fun with a friend!”

Find your nearest friendship group and events

Find your nearest Oddfellows friendship group by using our Branch Finder, or use the Events Finder to search for social events and activities happening near to where you live or online.

We also run monthly open days on Zoom.

Learn more about Oddfellows Friendship Month or ask us to send you a free information pack and local events diary.

About Dr Andy Cope

Andy is a keynote speaker, best-selling author and ‘recovering academic’. A regular on radio and TV, he specialises in positive psychology and the science of human flourishing. The reward for grinding out his PhD is that Andy gets to call himself a Dr of Happiness.

Andy’s mission is to change the narrative and re-focus psychology away from what’s wrong with people to what’s right. His messages act as a gentle nudge towards people taking charge of their own mental health. 

His work is showcased at www.artofbrilliance.co.uk

*The Oddfellows commissioned Opinium to conduct a survey of 2,000 UK adults 5-8 August 2025.