Filling the retirement gap

Updated: 01 May 2025

Sue Holland was used to a fast-paced life, balancing a dynamic career and a wealth of hobbies and volunteer roles. But 18 months ago, she made the bold choice to leave the hustle behind and embrace retirement.

Non-stop Sue

Alongside husband Alan, Sue, 72 from Wrexham, owned and ran two demanding businesses – a printing and packing company followed by a convenience shop. She also took on a role as a wage clerk for a health authority, was a foster carer and, finally, turned her hand to newspaper distribution – “the fastest, and probably only, 60-plus papergirl in North Wales,” Sue reckons.

Not one to sit still, Sue always had plenty to occupy her leisure time as well. She was a founding member of both the Wrexham Bridleways Group and the Wrexham Cat’s Protection League, and owned, cared for and rode horses, with a particular love of endurance riding, which she enjoyed into her mid-60s.

“I’ve always been very active,” said Sue, “but when my last horse was put to sleep I decided not to get another one – I had arthritis and found it difficult to look after a horse. That created a huge gap on top of retiring.”

Sue (pictured centre) filled the gap in her retirement by making new friends at her local Oddfellows coffee morning

I just wanted something extra to do.

Sue had plenty of interests to fill her time, but despite enjoying gardening, reading, writing, walking, local history, and photography – and combining the lot into a journal to record her daily life – she found herself longing for more out of her post-work life.

She explained: “I found it a little bit lonely. A bit boring. Isolating. I did lots of gardening but you also get bored from doing gardening after so long. I just wanted something extra to do.”

Around this time, Sue read an article in a magazine about someone who, in retirement, had discovered the Oddfellows – a friendly society with members and branches throughout the UK.

“I called the number and they sent me the details of my local branch – North Wales and Chester Oddfellows,” Sue said. “I called them but I decided they were a little bit too far away but they happened to say, ‘if you can wait we’re going to be starting a group in Wrexham’. So, for the next four months I mithered them saying ‘have you started this group yet?’ I was so pleased when they did.”

New friendships

Sue's met many new people through the Oddfellows, forging some close friendships

A brand new regular coffee morning with opportunities to meet other friendly locals was the tonic Sue was after, and it’s now a cornerstone of her social calendar.

“I look forward to them because we have a good chat and a laugh,” she said.

“We’ve got to know each other really well and, in fact, there’s four of us who’ve really clicked and we meet up outside of the Oddfellows too. We go for meals, we’ve been to the cinema, and we’ve been to a concert together, and anyone is welcome to join us. That’s all come from the Oddfellows and I’m just enjoying it all so much. It brings new friendships and a new social life.

“I had been searching for something to fill the rather large hole left by my retirement and giving up the time-consuming hobby of horse ownership. The Oddfellows has filled that gap and more.”

Sue has even started adding her own input into the group and volunteering her time, adding: “I’m organising some walks with the Oddfellows, because I like walking.”

Personal benefits

It’s not simply having a few things in the diary that Sue values, she’s noticed a positive difference in herself, too.

“When I was younger, I wasn’t as confident and didn’t socialise as much as I do now,” she explained. “The last 15 months, since I started the Oddfellows, my confidence has grown so much and I do think I’m a much more sociable person now that I’m a member and meeting different people.”

She added: “I would advise anyone to find out if there’s a local group and go along and see what it’s about. It opens up so much for you. I am enjoying my membership so much.”

Sue (left) and North Wales and Chester Oddfellows Social Organiser, Caroline Davey, flicking through an events diary

Caroline Davey, Social Organiser at North Wales and Chester Oddfellows, said: “We’re delighted that we’ve managed to help Sue, and she’s now an integral member of our group.

“It’s easy to view retirement with rose-tinted glasses, but when it comes it can often feel like something is missing. Even if you’re ready to finish working, you might not be ready to give up on the social life or sense of purpose that work often provides.

“We see that a lot here at the Oddfellows and Sue’s story is the perfect example of how we can help. Groups like ours can be an ideal stepping stone into a retirement that’s active, stimulating and meaningful.”

Sue's advice

Sue is aware that it’s not always easy to join a new group, especially if you don’t know anyone there. She has some advice, however.

“It can be a bit daunting turning up. For somebody coming into an established group, even if it’s a small group, it’s still daunting to walk in where everybody knows each other,” she said.

“All I would say is to go along once and carry on. Persevere until you feel comfortable and that’s where it really starts to take off.

“I have joined other things in the past when I was less confident and I’ve gone along to a large group and thought ‘oh no, I’m not going back, I just felt so uncomfortable’.

“I just want to encourage people to give these thing a go and carry on because you do get a lot from it.”

There's always a friendly face ready to welcome you to an Oddfellows event 

Oddfellows friendship groups

The Oddfellows can help you stay active and positive in your retirement, and introduce you to other retirees in your area. It has branches across the country and organises regular social events for its members to enjoy such as talks, group trips and quizzes.

The Society also supports members with care and welfare advice, opportunities to holiday together and volunteering.

We're always ready to welcome new members to our local Oddfellows friendship groups.

You can find your nearest by using our Branch Finder, or use our Events Finder to search for social events and activities happening near to where you live or online.

There are also regular online open days to find out more about the Society and the benefits of membership. 

Request your free information pack and local events diary by contacting us.