The power of 'yes'

Updated: 25 Jul 2025

This September, the Oddfellows is encouraging people to say ‘yes’ to a new experience. That’s because simply saying ‘yes’ could be the start of something amazing.

It breaks you out of your comfort zone, gives you more opportunities to have fun, helps build self-confidence, and best of all, could introduce you to new friends.

We speak to Dr Andy Cope, self-confessed “Dr of Happiness” and friend of the Oddfellows, and dig a little deeper into the benefits of saying ‘yes’ and why it’s important to do so.

A head and shoulders photo of Dr Andy Cope. He's stood smiling with crossed arms Doctor of Happiness, Dr Andy Cope

The ‘yes’ boost

Dr Cope says the more positives you put into your life, the more you get out of it. And simply saying ‘yes’ will give your life a positive boost.

He explains: “Saying ‘yes’ to something new will make you feel good and give you an emotional lift. It sparks curiosity, a sense of adventure and a boost of oxytocin – your brain’s feel good chemical. In fact, research shows that engaging in meaningful and enjoyable experiences increases happiness, reduces stress, and strengthens resilience.

“Even small changes, like saying ‘yes’ to sitting somewhere other than your usual spot, or saying ‘yes’ to going out with a friend when you’d usually be doing your weekly crossword, will make a big difference to how we feel in that moment. It’s worth trying, even if you start small.”

Four members larking about at a coffee morning. They are huddled around a table at a coffee morning

Saying ‘no’ is easy, saying ‘yes’ is better

Dr Cope acknowledges that it’s hard to say ‘yes’ to new opportunities when you are stuck in a routine, but there are physical and mental health benefits to ditching your safe space.

He said: “Evolution has hard-wired our brains to keep us out of danger. And anything that challenges our regular habits may be perceived as dangerous, so it’s only natural to focus on keeping in a routine and turning down new opportunities.

“This is why we get locked into simple routines such as having a favourite seat to sit in, or a favourite mug to drink out of. In fact, it’s estimated that everyone has around 80,000 thoughts a day, and of those, 75,000 thoughts are the same as we had yesterday. Why? Because you’re not changing the way you behave or think.”

He added: “I have a sneaky feeling that comfort zones can actually end up making people feel uncomfortable! Doing the same thing day in, day out, means we miss out on the joy and growth that comes from trying something different.

“New experiences help the brain form fresh connections. They remind us we’re capable, interesting, and very much alive.”

He added: “Life gets faster as you grow older, so having new experiences is a good way of slowing it down and making the most of it.”

Five, four, three, two, one!

Dr Cope challenges us to resist our natural urge to say ‘no’ to something that’s new or scary, and apply the ‘Five Second Rule’ before answering an invitation.

He said: “My advice is to wait five seconds before you say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to anything.

“This delay gives you enough time to overcome your instinctive ‘no’ response, but also ensures you only say ‘yes’ to desired experiences. Keeping it to five seconds prevents you from over thinking. It cuts out the opportunity to come up with excuses but also gives you enough time to make sure you are giving the right answer.

“I’m a huge advocate of saying ‘yes’, but there’s no value in saying ‘yes’ to things you know you’re not going to enjoy. The key is, not letting your instinct to stay in your comfort zone override your desire to try something new.”

The ‘yes’ effect

While the act of saying ‘yes’ will give you a dopamine boost, the real benefit comes as a result of saying ‘yes’.

Dr Cope explains: “Saying ‘yes’ to something new will expand your life experience and boost your mood. You will be placing yourself in a situation where other people have said ‘yes’ and, as a result, surround yourself by positivity.

“Take the Oddfellows’ social activities for example, each member of the Oddfellows has said ‘yes’ and, as a result, is there with a common focus.

“But it’s spending time with a group, enjoying an activity together, which is the real mood booster. That’s because mirror neurons respond to actions that we observe in others. So, if you surround yourself with people and do something fun together, you will enjoy shared emotions, sync up and connect.

“Social connections don’t just make life more enjoyable – they’re essential for emotional and physical wellbeing. When we spend time with others, our bodies release oxytocin and endorphins, which boost mood and reduce stress.

“That’s why I’m such a big believer in doing things together. Whether it’s a coffee morning, a walk in the park, or a shared hobby, it’s those moments of connection that leave lasting memories – and stronger friendships.”

He added: “If you ask people what their happiest memories are, they will mostly say examples where they are surrounded by people. The top 10 moments in someone’s life are experiences not products. It’s about being with people you enjoy being around.”

A group of members out on a country walk

Try an Oddfellows friendship group activity

The Oddfellows creates space for people to connect, support one another, and enjoy life together. If you’ve been feeling a bit stuck, a bit lonely, or just in need of something new, its friendly groups are there for you.

Say ‘yes’ to a friendly chat.
Say ‘yes’ to a local event.
Say ‘yes’ to being part of something that lifts you up.

Give an Oddfellows social event or activity a try. There’s no obligation to join.

You can find your nearest Oddfellows Branch by using our Branch Finder, or use our Events Finder to search for social events and activities happening near to where you live or online.

Read more advice on making friends in later life and building social confidence in our friendship guides section.

About Dr Andy Cope

Andy is a keynote speaker, best-selling author and ‘recovering academic’. A regular on radio and TV, he specialises in positive psychology and the science of human flourishing. The reward for grinding out his PhD is that Andy gets to call himself a Dr of Happiness.

Andy’s mission is to change the narrative and re-focus psychology away from what’s wrong with people to what’s right. His messages act as a gentle nudge towards people taking charge of their own mental health.

His work is showcased at www.artofbrilliance.co.uk